The Right Motivation
➙ I am going to do it and show them who I am.
➙ Do what and show who?
➙ They told me that I can't do it and shouldn't do it. I want prove them wrong?
➙ That's your motivation to do that thing?
➙ Well, that's one of the motivations now.
➙ Then you are an idiot.
➙ How so?
➙ To start with, you allowed their honest opinion to hurt you and further disturb your ego. Then, you took that hurt and defined your motivation.
➙ OK, I got hurt. It is very unpleasant to hear others say that you can't do it.
➙ That's because, you are unable to accept others' opinions in the right spirit. They are making their opinion. Whether it is in good faith or bad faith, let it not make what you are. What you are should be defined by your actions. By using their opinion as a motivation, you are actually allowing those opinion to define who you are.
➙ What is wrong with using their no's to motivate you. I've heard that success is the sweetest revenge.
➙ Why do you want to take revenge in the first place?
➙ Because I got hurt.
➙ Exactly. Why get hurt in the first place and use that negative emotional surge to motivate you?
➙ Again, what's wrong with that?
➙ To start with, most emotional factors are short lived. They die when the hormones settle down in your body. And by the time they wade off, you would have put significant resources into the task. An expense made on emotional impulse! Very unhealthy.
➙ I can nurture these emotions for longevity.
➙ If you do so, impulses such as vindictiveness and sunk cost bias will drag your ego in the game, blind you and stop you from pulling the plug when it is time.
➙ Why not just use the motivation initially and with supervision?
➙ The problem with emotional impulses is that they are very unlikely to supervised and brought under control. The probability is that you will be consumed by such impulses than have the emotional maturity to control them. In fact, if you had that emotional maturity, you wouldn't look at such incidents as motivations in the first place.
➙ I feel that it stupid to pass on some drives that doesn't cost you much?
➙ What's the point of such motivation that will cost you a lot later... that leads to idiotic decisions? You can have better motivations. Those that doesn't eat you up emotionally and spiritually. Those that doesn't cost you but empower you.
➙ Such as?
➙ Tell me one thing. What drove you to decide to start a business in the first place?
➙ Being my own boss... money... the freedom to choose when and how much I work... my love for building things... my love for running operations... and so on...
➙ May they still drive and motivate you, my friend. Not someone's opinion about you.
➙ Should I not give a damn about their opinions?
➙ Of course you should. I don't suggest the "not give a f*ck" attitude becausue you are not perfect and what others say can contain some substance. So process their opinions and take them constructively if there is substance in them. If not, open the doorway between your ears and let such opinions passby. Don't let them stay in your mind rent free and disturb your mindset.