Fat Isn't Offensive
➙ You called me fat, that's so rude man.
➙ I didn't call you fat, I only said that you are fat.
➙ Still, that's so rude. And offensive too. I don't like it.
➙ Fat is an English word that denotes a particular body size. It's not an abusive word. And it's certainly not rude to say that someone is fat, whether you like it or not.
➙ I find it offensive.
➙ That's your problem friend. Not mine. I cannot be responsible for the offensiveness you feel from your perception.
➙ It is not a perception.
➙ Of course it is. When a word has a meaning and you perceive that word with a different meaning, it is a problem of perception. It is not an intrinsic problem with the word or its usage.
➙ You could use the word healthy, heavy or huge.
➙ Those words makes no sense. Don't you realise that these words do not actually convey the meaning of "fat"? Heavy is a weighing metric, not a visual metric. Huge may be somewhat synonymous, yet it isn't accurate for the situation where I said you fat. And "healthy" is exactly the opposite of what most fat people are. I am struck by the irony. Even if you are healthy, that's not the aspect I am trying to convey to you. It is the physical size that I am conveying.
➙ Whatever... Fat is offensive.
➙ Why do you think so?
➙ Because I feel offended when I hear it.
➙ Why?
➙ Well, when I hear that word aimed at me, I feel that I am being ridiculed for being fat. So I feel offended.
➙ Would you feel offended if I target the word "fit" at you?
➙ No, I wouldn't. "Fit" is a good word.
➙ Would you feel offended that you are being ridiculed if I say that you are tall?
➙ No, I wouldn't.
➙ And if I say that you are short and call you "shorty"?
➙ May be I will feel offended.
➙ You see what's going on? You have formed an opinion about certain words in your mind and you are anchoring your reaction to these words on these opinions. And you have formed a negative or undesirable opinion on being fat, which is why you are being offended by the word.
➙ (Struggles for a reply) Well, there are people that call you fat in a condescending manner, mocking you for being fat. Whatever your opinions are about that word, surely such taunts offends you.
➙ If a person calls you fat with an intension to offend you, he is doing so either because it gets to you or because he truly believes that fat is an offensive term. As for the first case, are you that uneducated to give an offensive connotation to the word that is descriptive of a body? And as for the second case, are you that stupid to get offended at someone else's stupidity?
➙ Easy to say.
➙ And easy to set the mindset too.
➙ Look, you just cannot be cool when someone body shames you.
➙ And there is no such thing as body shaming.
➙ What?
➙ A human body, whatever its shape and size is, is not a matter of shame. If someone finds a particular body shape and size shameful, it is either because that idea persists within that person or because that person is too unskilled to handle someone either stating it or mocking her body. Add to this new conventions you create such as discouraging the use of the word fat, and we are legitimising someone else's stupidity. This is foolish.
➙ You can go on with your philosophy and rationalisation. It doesn't work in the real world. We are build to instinctively respond emotionally.
➙ Change your negative opinions about being fat and you can still respond emotionally without being offended. The fundamental issue is the opinion you have formed about that word.
➙ Well, being fat isn't nice socially speaking.
➙ I may have agreed with you had you said that being fat isn't nice from a health perspective. But socially speaking...? Says who?
➙ People generally have that opinion.
➙ That's their prerogative. And it is not necessary that you look at that word in the same stupid way as others look at it. Find the source of your unpalatable taste for the word "fat" and fix it.
➙ Source of that?
➙ Let me ask you something. Does the word "fat" in your mother tongue make you as uncomfortable as the English word?
➙ (Thinks for a moment) Honestly, it doesn't.
➙ So perhaps, your negative outlook is influenced by the glamour industry, the ads for certain fashion and the models featuring in them.
➙ You're blaming the fashion now.
➙ Not the way you are thinking. Let me explain. Compare the dresses that are worn around your body like sarees, gowns and kurtis, to dresses that are worn by putting the body going through them, like trousers and jeans. The former type doesn't demand you to be of a specific body shape and size to look good, but the latter type does. Too much of a belly, a pair of trousers and top may not be as visually aesthetic as a saree, salwar or other such garments on the same body.
➙ I agree.
➙ And you know what type of dresses form the major share of the clothing market today.
➙ Mostly western.
➙ Right. So the ads and models that you're exposed to promote a specific sort of shape without making it evident.
➙ I would agree.
➙ Thus forms a liking and longing for that body, which consequently injects a negative opinion about other body types.
➙ OK.
➙ These are slow intangible forms of influence that change your mindset. Besides this, there are many others factors that influence you to form a negative opinion about a body type. Investigate and fix them.
➙ Whatever, I feel insecure when I am told that I am fat.
➙ You cannot expect others to speak as you wish to be spoken to, especially when your wish roots from your insecurities and stupidities. Had the cause been something reasonable, I would have obliged. But this isn't. I certainly am cultured enough not to mock or taunt you. But if the situation demands that I make a statement on how you look, I wouldn't shy to being honest.